One thing I'm learning is that as a working woman, it's VERY important to take time for myself. Here's how I came to this conclusion:
Typical day in the life of me starts when I roll out of bed litterally 5 min. before running out to the parking lot to scrape ice off the car to arrive at work 20 min late with my make up bag in hand and a can of beef ravioli for lunch. I don't ever fully wake up and have gatherd my thoughts enough to realize I'm hungry until about 10:45 when I wonder to myself is it to late to warm up that oatmeal packet that tastes awful because I buy it with high fiber because I am not "regular" enough to suit myself. I rationalize that if I eat breakfast at 11, it'll help me stave off starvation for lunch until closer to one which will make my afternoon seem shorter, though it'll crawl by no matter what time I actually make the trip to the microwave, pop open my can of lunch,and nuke it for 2 and a half min. I'll most probably get distracted by something dumb when I get back to my desk so that when I take the first bite of lunch it'll no longer be hot. Oh the afternoon will drift slowly on, and mercifully 4:30 will arrive and I'll pack up my office to leave. Get home to realize the fridge is empty, feel guilty cause I never cook for my husband the way I'd love to, and suggest taco bell or something equally as healthy for dinner. If it's monday or tuesday or wednesday, we'll rush off to church with out so much as a glance in the mirror to see if the make up I put on in my office at 8:30 is even at all still doing anything for me. After getting home from whatever appointment or hang out we had scheduled, we'll waste the rest of our evening in front of the television catching up on shows that were DVR'd up to 2 weeks prior, crawl up to bed about 10:40, wash my face and brush my teeth (something i DO make time for each and every day), get in my t-shirt and cut off sweatpants, flop in to bed on sheets that are about two weeks over due for a wash, check the alarm clock, kiss my sweet husband (mouthpiece and all), close my eyes, toss and turn, pray, the fall asleep... only to repeat.again.again.&again.
See what I mean? Theres NOTHING in there besides maybe the face washing I do nightly that is actually for me. I consider taking care of my face as an investment in my future beauty. But, I don't make time to read my Bible, kneel to pray, and consider the gifts I've been given. I'm overwhelmed with business and hurry. I can't even plan a meal or enjoy a night out with friends with out thought of what I have to do the next day. Oh, I do occasionaly get lost in a good movie with some good friends or laugh histerically at ourselves with my mother and sisters. But, I don't feel like I'm living. I don't feel like I'm capuring the time I'm being given. I don't feel like I am investing in my future- except for maybe the facewashing. I need to spend time with God. I need to talk to my husband. I need to call my bestfriends who have moved far away. I need to take long showers. I need to paint my toes, shave my leggs, and re-organize my dresser. I need to do things that help me take time to look at what really matters in life... my realitonships, mental health and peace of mind. I want to look back and feel like I've had a life well lived... not a life that wore me out.
So tonight, I had a night for me. I took a hot shower.Turned on some Nora Jones. Put my clothes away. Made a cup of tea. And decided to write... for myself. It makes me happy to write down whats going on inside me. I'm truly enjoying the close of this day... hopefully this will make for a better tomorrow.
